Not Stung Once
While I was painting the house a few weeks ago, there were a multitude of wasp nests to be dealt with. Nasty, mean aggressive wasps. I had to make a choice. I could continue the mission, or I could quit and leave the house partly painted and partly exposed to the weather.
I decided to continue the mission. I just couldn't bear to leave the mess and risk the eventual damage. This meant I had another choice to make. I could try and co-exist with the wasps, or I could try to negotiate with them to leave. I determined that painting around the nests wasn't practical so had to try and convince the wasps to leave. I shouted at the nests to let them know that I needed to paint and that we didn't need to be enemies. The wasps couldn't understand me or didn't respect my culture enough to respond to my overtures. They seemed to hate any encroachment on their bit of real estate. They consistently acted in a threatening manner and there were enough of them to make working at the top of the ladder too dangerous.
I wanted to take the road to peace, but how do you negotiate and cooperate with a nest of wasps? How do you negotiate with a single wasp? How do you negotiate with a shark or a cobra? How do you negotiate with a terrorist?
I'll tell you how I did it. I waited till the cool of the morning and I used a tactic known as a sweep. I used the tip of a broom to flatten the nest and stun them with as many as possible still inside the nest. I took the nests down one by one. I knocked them to the ground and stomped them flat. I used bursts of chemicals where necessary to get tactical advantage. The few survivors spent the rest of the day buzzing around angry and confused, and without a home to defend.
I was not stung once.
It was a lot more like Afghanistan than Iraq.
It's useless to try and talk to them - kill the bastards in their sleep.
I decided to continue the mission. I just couldn't bear to leave the mess and risk the eventual damage. This meant I had another choice to make. I could try and co-exist with the wasps, or I could try to negotiate with them to leave. I determined that painting around the nests wasn't practical so had to try and convince the wasps to leave. I shouted at the nests to let them know that I needed to paint and that we didn't need to be enemies. The wasps couldn't understand me or didn't respect my culture enough to respond to my overtures. They seemed to hate any encroachment on their bit of real estate. They consistently acted in a threatening manner and there were enough of them to make working at the top of the ladder too dangerous.
I wanted to take the road to peace, but how do you negotiate and cooperate with a nest of wasps? How do you negotiate with a single wasp? How do you negotiate with a shark or a cobra? How do you negotiate with a terrorist?
I'll tell you how I did it. I waited till the cool of the morning and I used a tactic known as a sweep. I used the tip of a broom to flatten the nest and stun them with as many as possible still inside the nest. I took the nests down one by one. I knocked them to the ground and stomped them flat. I used bursts of chemicals where necessary to get tactical advantage. The few survivors spent the rest of the day buzzing around angry and confused, and without a home to defend.
I was not stung once.
It was a lot more like Afghanistan than Iraq.
It's useless to try and talk to them - kill the bastards in their sleep.
posted by ironcross11 | 9:14 PM
3 Comments:
Perhaps the paper comb wasp nest that I deal with is different than your experience, but I stand by the metaphor.
You cannot negotiate with a wasp or an Islamic fascist terrorist. You must kill them where ever you find them... before they attack.
Quick! Make your point. You're far too clever for the likes of me.
If you're asking if stomping included dragging and grinding, the answer is yes. I made sure to kill everyone of the bastards before they could get on offense.
I'm thinking you may need some schooling in that. Offense is choosing the time, place and medium of the engagement in order to capitalize on your relative strengths and the element of surprise.
It provides for the greatest efficiency of resources because it reduces the probability of a full knock-down-frontal-fight with the associated casualties and damage. It provides the greatest effect for psychological shock to demoralize the defense and hasten the decisive moment when survivors on the losing side accept that the probability of winning is not sufficient to warrant further investment of resources in the cause.
Are you part of the "I choose to lose" crowd?
What the ninnies can't seem to understand is that in this jet-crisscrossed international age, our nation is not a plot of land. It is an international benchmark of prosperity with agents and entities in most countries. The concept that we can make everyone like us, or that we can survive using only defensive protections is naive. Western Culture is under attack because it is the most successful model in history. It its seducutive and creative. Art! Science! Economics! Political Philosophy! Individual Liberty! Manufacturing! Infrastructure! Indoor Plumbimg!
Do you know how badly it pisses off the Islamo-Fascists:
That their God cannot protect them against our technology?
That we had to bring them the technology for running water?
That our demand for energy is the only thing that brought their treasured sandbox out of the Middle Ages?
The leader is always the target of the ambitious and the disgruntled
.
And just so you know, I don't care if the wasps come back as long as they present no threat to my immediate or strategic objectives, I'm willing to co-exist.
Islamic fanatics as well. As long as they preach their hate and keep it to words only - I'll leave them alone.
What the hell are you about, nitwit? There's not a single wasp or shred of nest out there. What's more - it's the simile that was the point. If you can't come up with something interesting and deep, please go hang out with the teens at myspace.
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