How Much is a Story Worth?

The debit card readers were out of order when I stopped for gas on Pennsylvania Avenue a couple of days ago. I went inside to let them run the card and when I came out I was approached by a wreck of a human being with a big smile on his face.

Excuse me, sir. I'd like to get something to eat. Can I pump your gas for you?

If you've read this blog much, you know I'm not an advocate of the undeserving poor. I noticed that he did not beg, but offered to perform a service for remuneration.

I can give you a couple of bucks to get something to eat...

He didn't take the bait.

No sir, I'm not going to take your money if you don't let me pump the gas.

What could I say?

OK, you got it. Go ahead and fill er' up.

My name is Shorty and I've fallen on some tough times recently. But I know how to deal with tough times. You just gotta keep on keepin' on.

Yeah, that's all you can do.

He chatted on for a bit, waiting for the automatic shutoff to fire. Finally, he pauses for a moment and looks me straight in the eye.

I'm gonna ask you an important question. You'll think it's easy, but it's not. I'm positive you'll get the answer wrong. So think about it before you answer.

OK, what's the question?

What is the greatest nation on God's green earth?

This nation, the United States of America.

Nope, That's not it. It's a good answer but it's not the greatest nation.

He timed it perfectly. He finished pumping the gas, put the nozzle back on the pump and put the gas cap back on my trusty bimmer. I fell right in to his trap.

OK you tell me, Shorty. What's the greatest nation on earth, then?

He winked and held out his hand.

The greatest nation is a do-nation!

If he'd taken the money without pumping the gas, I would have given him a couple of bucks. I laughed and gave him a fiver. A good story is worth at least that much.